Top 10 Favorite and Least Favorite Customers

As a grocery store clerk, I encounter all different types of customers—the crazy to the pleasant to the annoying—and I have certain favorites and certain types of customers I hate. First off, the Top 10 Least Favorite Customers. These are indeed in order, from the ones that bother me not as much to the ones that bother me a lot. Here they are:

10. Meticulous OCD freaks
These type of shoppers are very picky about how things are done—and will give you specific and explicit directions on what to do. In other words, these are the type of people that think they can do a better job you. They will tell you exactly how to bag things and complain when you do something against their unspoken wishes. I have some customers that tell me they want their bags bagged extremely lightly, and when I put just two cans in one bag, they say it’s too heavy. If you’re too fragile to even lift up two cans what the heck are you doing shopping on your own?

9. Cell phone addicts
Cell phone users at the grocery store only makes the list at #9 because they usually don’t really bother me at all. In my job, I have to greet and make small talk with hundreds of people, so it is nice to get a change where I don’t even have to say anything to someone who is more interested in talking to the person at the other end of their line than me. Frankly, that doesn’t bother me, because I don’t know them. My only problem is when I need to get their attention for a matter that I must address them about and they can’t hear me. Other than that, I don’t really consider it rude, but I do think they should hang up their phone in case I have to ask them something.

8. Lonely Larry’s
These are the types of shoppers that most often live alone or with pets. These people have very few people in their life to talk to, so when they go through your line they feel obliged to discuss their entire day with you—not that you care much. Of course, I have to act interested and like I care when they come through my line. These people can sometimes also fall under the type of shoppers at #4 on the list.

7. Complainers
I think everyone is annoyed by people who complain too much. I understand if some action needs to be taken (there’s a spill, there are no more produce bags, no carts, etc.), but some people find the smallest things to complain about, such as the produce not LOOKING ripe, or the carts being wet (Hey, you live in Washington, get used to it!), or their bread not soft/firm enough. I myself have learned that not everything is perfect, so I accept things for what they are and move on. Some people need to do that as well.

6. Germ-spreaders
It’s just gross when people bring their pets or shop while they are sick. They put their dogs in the child carrier section of a cart and don’t bother sanitizing afterward. They cough and sneeze all over the store spreading germs. I try to not let it bother me; I do have a strong immune system after all, but seeing these types of shoppers aggravates me because of how ignorant and inconsiderate they are towards others.

5. “I speak no English but I have needs” shoppers
I understand that some people don’t understand English. Well, sort of. Everyone that lives in the U.S. should know at least basic English. There are however some shoppers that come through my line with very little or no English and attempt to tell me they need something. It is very difficult and annoying trying to understand what they mean. If you don’t know English, go shopping with someone who does. That’s why I often see Mexican families with their kids—the parents don’t know much English, but the kids do. And sometimes, I have to talk to the kids if something arises, which is fine with me.

4. Slow as molasses shoppers
These shoppers are usually elderly, but not always. What I hate most is that they, by their lonesome, can slow up the entire store. This includes elderly people who can barely move to people who get everything wrong with WIC (Government issued checks to help people afford food and necessities for their children). I don’t link these types of shoppers to elderly shoppers, but I do link them to lazy people who probably never move at all while they are at home. Which is why Safeway came up with grocery delivery, which is what these people should probably take advantage of.

3. Impatient “Time is money” people
The exact opposite, but equally frustrating, to the shoppers above are the impatient shoppers. They try to find the fastest checker in the store because, to them, time is money. When they find you aren’t fast enough, they take the bags off your hands before you can even set them on the belt. These shoppers are always edgy and jittery and may even offer to bag their own groceries to speed up the process. Thankfully, I don’t get many of these types of shoppers, because as most people realize, grocery shopping takes time. My best advice: Don’t go grocery shopping when you have only a limited amount of time.

2. Price scrutinizers
These people can drive me up the wall. What they are most famous for at Safeway is telling you a certain item is a certain price when they have yet to put in their Safeway Club Card. Thankfully, most shoppers have shopped at Safeway before and know that, but every now and then I get a customer that doesn’t. They will insist that “those oranges are supposed to be $0.99 a lb!” and I have to calmly and patiently tell them “That’s without the club card discount, could I get your Safeway club card?” This irks me so and is all the way up at #2 because most people should know this by now. Thankfully, no one under the age of 20 really ever is one of these types of shoppers, which leads me to believe the new age of shoppers will bring people that know this certain thing about grocery shopping.

1. Shoppers from Hell
These people are the worst. They have clearly had a bad day and must do everything they can to make it so you, the checker, have a bad day too. They are so bad they USUALLY fall under #’s 10, 7, 4, and 2 on this list. They must have a perfect shopping experience or they will let you know about it. Sometimes, I call a manager to deal with them. Sometimes, I just stay silent and act as if I don’t care. Whenever I get one of these shoppers I pray that they never enter the store again. If I happen to get one a 2^nd time, I only say “Hi” and “Have a good day” without smiling. They deserve nothing more.


Well, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, time to move on to my Top 10 Favorite Shoppers. These people either brighten my day or give me someone to talk to. Either way, if you fall under one of these categories, I like to see you come through my line.

10. People my age
It’s just nice to talk to people my own age. Plus, they hardly EVER fall under any of the categories I listed above for Least Favorite Customers. All they want is to get their food and leave. They don’t fuss over prices or complain really about anything.

9. Moms
Moms are another type of shopper I can talk to, having one myself. They usually are very patient and forgiving people, seeing as they have to deal with children all the time. Even the ones with spoiled rotten kids treat me pretty well.

8. Sports Fans
Sports fans are one of the best type of customers to talk to, especially those who share my favorite teams, the Mariners and the Seahawks. It’s easy to talk about the Seahawks and Mariners, and they don’t let their team’s misfortunes affect how they act around me. A good customer, and I love seeing all the sports jerseys.

7. Regular Customers
By “Regular Customers”, I mean customers I see all the time. I know what to expect from these people. I know how to treat them. They like me back, so they never give me a bad time. They know how deals work and how prices work, so I never have to explain it to them.

6. Sympathetic Shoppers
Sympathetic shoppers always ask me genuinely how my day is. They always express remorse that I am working. They always try to do the best they can to make my job easier, which I really appreciate. These shoppers include both men and women, and they give me the strength to get through a tough shift.

5. Pleasant people
I guess you could merge this with the above, but they are slightly different. They just like spreading their joy around. They are the complete opposite of the “Shoppers from Hell” and it’s always nice to provide a service to someone nice.

4. Coworkers
Coworkers are not only great people to talk to, but they know more than anyone how pricing and deals work, since obviously they work there. Because of that, they also happen to be some of the quickest shoppers, knowing where everything is and how to have a speedy checkout.

3. Good-looking girls
Who doesn’t like good-looking girls? *Cricket sounds* Good-looking girls are extremely nice and they—well, I won’t get into the rest. As I am a straight male, you should be able to deduce the rest of the reasoning of why I like them in my line.

2. Famous People
I haven’t had any extremely famous people in my line, but I have had Seahawks cornerback Kelly Jennings and Jason and Molly Mesnick from the Bachelor. I’ve also seen at work Walter Jones, Deion Branch, and Nate Burleson. I’ve yet to see anyone from the Mariners, but I know someday I will. They always give me something to tell others about “Hey, so-and-so just went through my line!” and I don’t embarrass them by saying I recognize them.

1. Friends/Family
I had to include this one. Friends and family treat me better than anyone. They’re very easy to talk to and it definitely helps knowing your customer. I actually haven’t had family come through my line, since family technically isn’t allowed to, or at least people you live with.