There's an emptiness in my
heart that wasn't there two days ago.
Just 42 hours ago as of me writing this, my family had a cat. His name was Blackjack, and he was the kind
of cat you wouldn't change anything about.
Not a thing. Because he was
perfect just the way he was. He was our
kitty, and we loved him so much. Somehow,
even though he was just one cat, he was able to provide enough love to four
different people. Some people that live
alone don't get that much love from two cats.
But Blackjack was the kind of cat any family would love.
Our family was truly blessed to have had a wonderful cat like him. The interesting thing is, though, is that we weren't planning on keeping him. When he and his siblings were born, he was the one we knew for sure we'd give away, provided they all lived. We were going to give him away because there were enough black and black/white cats in the neighborhood. We wanted a white cat with fleck of black or a multi-colored cat. Unfortunately (and yet, in a way, fortunately) they didn't make it, and we ended up with the black and white tuxedo cat, naming him Blackjack.
I still am finding it hard to believe that he is gone. He was the indestructible cat, the cat with a million lives, the cat we just couldn't and wouldn't imagine ever passing on. He endured many attacks from raccoons and even other cats. He had to go to the vet so much in his life the vets recognized his name and appearance instantly. We spent a lot of money on him throughout his life, but every penny was worth it.
I keep wanting to wake up and realize this was all a dream (or nightmare), but I can't. I want to live in a world where Blackjack is a constant presence in our lives for all of eternity, but I can't. I want to see him one last time, hear him meow one last time, hear him go "urf!" and hear him purr one last time, but I can't. There are so many things I would love to do with him one last time, but unfortunately in a lot of cases, you don't know when your last time will be. I know in my heart in the past few years of his life, I really enjoyed every moment I had with him, because we all knew his time was starting to run short. Despite that, I feel like something was taken away from me, a great joy in my life. Blackjack was one of the greatest joys in all of our lives.
As time goes on, we'll think about him less and less, as we inevitably do about lost loved ones. But not for one second will we, any of us, forget about the kind of cat he was. He was the best damn cat any of us will ever know. To lose something as precious as him is heartbreaking and devastating no matter the circumstances. The say that dog is man's best friend... well in our family, HE was our best friend. He was the one thing we could all agree on that we loved. He was our darling angel of a cat.
I'm forcing myself to try not to think about seeing his lifeless body or the hole that now resides in my heart. I'm trying to think about the good times we had with him, like putting bows on him when it was presents-opening time or seeing him on the stairs when we'd get home from work/school. There will come a time, years and years from now, when I am much older, that I will think of a fond memory of Blackjack and smile. Sure, he may not be around anymore and won't ever come back, but the memories we were able to make with him and the love we shared, is priceless. We loved him, and we know he loved us too, as much as a cat could have the capacity of love for humans.
Blackjack will forever have a special place in each of our hearts. Myself, Gregg, Mary, and Kristin, all loved that cat to pieces. He made our bad days a little better and our good days even better. We have so many tuxedo cat things around the house, from a pillow to magnets to a rug. Each of them serves, not as a reminder of a loss, but as a reminder that Blackjack left a presence. He was here as our cat, for 18 wonderful years, and he was as much a part of our family as a cat could be. Blackjack, you may have left this great, green Earth, but you will never leave our hearts. We love you, Blackjack. Rest in piece, Snack.
Our family was truly blessed to have had a wonderful cat like him. The interesting thing is, though, is that we weren't planning on keeping him. When he and his siblings were born, he was the one we knew for sure we'd give away, provided they all lived. We were going to give him away because there were enough black and black/white cats in the neighborhood. We wanted a white cat with fleck of black or a multi-colored cat. Unfortunately (and yet, in a way, fortunately) they didn't make it, and we ended up with the black and white tuxedo cat, naming him Blackjack.
I still am finding it hard to believe that he is gone. He was the indestructible cat, the cat with a million lives, the cat we just couldn't and wouldn't imagine ever passing on. He endured many attacks from raccoons and even other cats. He had to go to the vet so much in his life the vets recognized his name and appearance instantly. We spent a lot of money on him throughout his life, but every penny was worth it.
I keep wanting to wake up and realize this was all a dream (or nightmare), but I can't. I want to live in a world where Blackjack is a constant presence in our lives for all of eternity, but I can't. I want to see him one last time, hear him meow one last time, hear him go "urf!" and hear him purr one last time, but I can't. There are so many things I would love to do with him one last time, but unfortunately in a lot of cases, you don't know when your last time will be. I know in my heart in the past few years of his life, I really enjoyed every moment I had with him, because we all knew his time was starting to run short. Despite that, I feel like something was taken away from me, a great joy in my life. Blackjack was one of the greatest joys in all of our lives.
As time goes on, we'll think about him less and less, as we inevitably do about lost loved ones. But not for one second will we, any of us, forget about the kind of cat he was. He was the best damn cat any of us will ever know. To lose something as precious as him is heartbreaking and devastating no matter the circumstances. The say that dog is man's best friend... well in our family, HE was our best friend. He was the one thing we could all agree on that we loved. He was our darling angel of a cat.
I'm forcing myself to try not to think about seeing his lifeless body or the hole that now resides in my heart. I'm trying to think about the good times we had with him, like putting bows on him when it was presents-opening time or seeing him on the stairs when we'd get home from work/school. There will come a time, years and years from now, when I am much older, that I will think of a fond memory of Blackjack and smile. Sure, he may not be around anymore and won't ever come back, but the memories we were able to make with him and the love we shared, is priceless. We loved him, and we know he loved us too, as much as a cat could have the capacity of love for humans.
Blackjack will forever have a special place in each of our hearts. Myself, Gregg, Mary, and Kristin, all loved that cat to pieces. He made our bad days a little better and our good days even better. We have so many tuxedo cat things around the house, from a pillow to magnets to a rug. Each of them serves, not as a reminder of a loss, but as a reminder that Blackjack left a presence. He was here as our cat, for 18 wonderful years, and he was as much a part of our family as a cat could be. Blackjack, you may have left this great, green Earth, but you will never leave our hearts. We love you, Blackjack. Rest in piece, Snack.
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