Re-ranking My Top 10 NFL Commentators and Analysts (And my least favorite!)

Six years ago I ranked my Top 10 NFL broadcasters.  I thought it would be time to re-rank them since some have moved to other networks and my opinions have changed.  First, I will pick my Top 5 for each commentator/play-by-play and analysts/color commentary.  I don't think comparing the two is fair, so I'll rank them separately. 

First, let's do analysts:

5. Trent Green, CBS
He's ok.  He's only on this list because I dislike hearing the commentary of every other commentator out there (besides the 4 ahead of him).  He's knowledgeable, and his voice is fairly pleasant.

4. Mark Schlereth, FOX
For an offensive lineman, Schlereth knows his stuff.  He's also got a great voice for television.  

3. Daryl Johnston, FOX
Daryl is an old-timer as I remember when I first got into watching NFL football, he was doing color commentary way back then.  He's also got a great voice for television and knows his stuff.

2. Tony Romo, CBS
Tony is liked for his ability to predict things, his reaction to plays, and the noises he makes.  But I like him for his knowledge when he points out things we normally wouldn't notice.  

1. Cris Collinsworth, NBC
You either love him or hate him, and I gotta say, I love him.  His voice was made for football.  I will admit he can become a bit annoying, but so can any color commentator.


And now, play-by-play guys:

5. Kevin Burkhardt, FOX
Kevin has great inflection in his voice when calling exciting plays, so it makes for great TV.  He's now the lead NFL guy for FOX after Buck's departure, and I'm all for it.

4. Ian Eagle, CBS
For some reason, we in Seattle get many of Ian's games.  Anyway, he blends a smooth voice with a great knowledge of the game and its players.  It's a great combination.

3. Mike Tirico, NBC
The reason I'm glad Al Michaels left NBC for Amazon is so we could hear Mike Tirico more.  He's got such a great voice and made some great calls.  "Hauled in by Jennings, the Packers win in overtime!  Unbelievable!"  And who could forget the Fail Mary? "Fought for by Tate with Jennings, who has it, who they give it to?  TOUCHDOWN!!!"  And, "... in one of the most bizarre finishes you'll EVER see!"  Look forward to hearing him make more of those.

2. Kevin Harlan, CBS
He's still one of the best and the most underrated.  He's the ultimate play-by-play guy.  His voice was made for it.  I wish CBS would put him with Tony Romo because that pairing would be *chef's kiss*.  I challenge anyone to find a play-by-play guy with a better voice when calling huge/dramatic plays. 

1. Al Michaels, Amazon
The one thing making Amazon's Thursday Night Football tolerable is Al Michaels.  Kirk Herbstreit isn't bad, but Al Michaels carries it.  Al is such a comforting presence and voice; he's like if everyone's grandpa decided to call games.  All your anxieties and stresses fade away when listening to Al call a game.  And I love it when Al makes snide remarks, like the Harvey Weinstein one or when the fans were chanting "bullshit," and he said, "That's the loudest manure chant I've ever heard."  Classic Al.

Ok, now that that's done, I thought I'd rank my least favorite analysts and commentators (from ok to least favorite).  If they're a part of the game, these guys will make me watch a different game (or not watch at all).  These will be a mix of color commentary and play-by-play guys.

Dishonorable Mention: Beth Mowins, CBS
Her voice is just so unpleasant (and it has nothing to do with her being a woman).  I recently told my girlfriend that it's like hearing Phil and Lil's mom from Rugrats calling a game.  Literally, any female sideline reporter that CBS employs would be better.  And she's only a dishonorable mention because she doesn't call NFL games that often (thank God).

5. Jonathan Vilma, FOX
Rarely do linebackers make good color commentators.  Vilma is no exception.  He's annoying and provides very little insightful content.  His voice isn't awful, but it isn't the best.

4. Mark Sanchez, FOX
He just says the dumbest stuff.  He's as bad at color commentary as he was as a QB.  His voice is mediocre at best.  Sometimes I just wish he'd shut the heck up.

3. Greg Gumbel, CBS
It's such a shame.  Greg used to be one of my favorites.  He messes up players' names on a routine basis now.  He really should copy his former partner Dan Dierdorf and retire.  But back in the late 90s/early 2000s, he and Dan were one of the best.  But now the pairing of him and Adam Archuleta is just sad.  

2. Charles Davis, CBS
First off, I hate the sound of his voice.  CBS thinks it makes for great TV, but it's just annoying.  I wish I could mute the broadcast whenever he speaks.  Secondly, his voice only reminds me of how he is in the newer Madden video games and how trash those games are nowadays.  His commentary is rarely insightful, and he says obvious things fairly often.  Fortunately for him, he's paired with Ian Eagle.  That broadcast sure is lopsided.

1. Chris Myers, FOX
I despise FOX whenever they assign him to call a Seahawks game.  Just in the past month, he has covered 3 of the past 4 Seahawk games.  So why don't I like him?  His voice is way too guttural, and he says the corniest and stupidest things.  I wouldn't be surprised if his normal talking voice was distinctly different (like Brian Baumgartner from The Office).  He's a good sideline reporter, but in the booth, he is AWFUL.  He is the only one of these that makes me mute a broadcast and listen to the radio instead.  His worst call of all time has to be when Richard Sherman picked off a pass and was headed to the end zone, and Myers said, "He's got followers, and not just on Twitter!"  So terribly awful and corny.  I hate that my Seahawks are usually on the same network that employs Chris Myers.  He cannot retire soon enough.

Final remarks: There were a lot of well-known broadcasters that didn't make my list that I'd like to comment on.  Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are okay; I can tolerate them to an extent.  They'd be closer to the bottom than the top for me, though.  Another that might be near the bottom for me (and would probably surprise you) is Jim Nantz.  He has a great voice, but his commentary has gotten worse recently.  He's reacted slowly to plays and doesn't have a great voice for exciting plays (probably why he does golf).  He's a terrific narrator but doesn't handle exciting plays particularly well.  Anyone else I haven't mentioned is basically middle-of-the-road for me; I can take them or leave them.