NFL Teams Ranked--Again

 We're midway through the 2023 season, and it sure is an interesting one.  I thought I'd rank each of the 32 NFL teams in terms of my personal preference.  As a Seahawks fan, a lot of these rankings are self-explanatory, but most are not.  I'll try to keep it brief, especially if it's self-explanatory.

FAVORITE
1. Seattle Seahawks - Always my #1, always my ride or die.  

I LIKE THESE TEAMS (Not too surprisingly, all AFC teams)
2. Jacksonville Jaguars - Team I've adopted as my #2, or my favorite AFC team.  The Seahawks have no reason to hate them.  I like their new resurgence with Trevor Lawrence, and I really hope they accomplish some things.
3. Miami Dolphins - I'm high on them for three reasons: 1) My girlfriend's 1st cousin once removed is their kicker, Jason Sanders.  He's her dad's cousin.  2) Salvon Ahmed, one of their backup running backs, grew up in Kirkland, WA, just like me.  3) One of their safeties is Jevon Holland, who shares a last name with me, the only Big 4 sports professional athlete I know of who has that distinction.
4. Kansas City Chiefs - I can't help it, they're so easy to root for and fun to watch.  Mahomes, Kelce, Andy Reid, what's not to like?
5. Buffalo Bills - I love Josh Allen; he's one of my favorite NFL players.  The Bills remind me of my Seahawks in a way: loyal to a fault and will brave the elements.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU WHEN YOU WIN (Usually, unless you beat my Hawks)
6. Cincinnati Bengals - Joe Burrow is easy to root for, and finally Cincy has a consistent winner.
7. Minnesota Vikings - The Jon Bois/SB Nation documentary vaulted them up a bit, plus how big a fan Marshall on How I Met Your Mother is of them, and he's one of my favorite sitcom characters ever.
8. Cleveland Browns - I don't like how they got Watson, but I love lovable losers.  They still deserve to have success someday.  One of my favorite YouTubers, KTO, is a big Browns fan.
9. Detroit Lions - They are easy to like and their win over Green Bay last year enabled the Seahawks to get to the playoffs.  Thanks again, Detroit!
10. Atlanta Falcons - Again, the Jon Bois/SB Nation documentary.  Highly recommend.

NO BIG REASON TO DISLIKE, MAYBE A SMALL REASON TO LIKE
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I still think of those late 90s/early 2000s teams that just dominated on defense.  They were fun to watch.  They're still fairly likable.  Guess I just like Florida NFL teams. 
12. Los Angeles Chargers - Never really had a reason to dislike them, except for the fact that as of writing this post, the last time I saw a Seahawks game in person, they lost to the Chargers.  But I don't hold that against them too much.  We should have done more.
13. Dallas Cowboys - I know, I know.  I just find large market teams (Lakers, Yankees, Cowboys) appealing and fun to root for on occasion.  But it is also funny to see them lose, too.
14. Houston Texans - They would be higher, but they share a city with a certain MLB team I would rank 30 out of 30, so that drops them a bit.  I like their uniforms, stadium, but they haven't always made the best personnel decisions.

YOU'RE OK, SO LONG AS YOU DON'T BEAT MY HAWKS
15. Washington Commanders - First off, I wish they'd change their name again.  "Commanders" is so generic and uninspiring.  But I like how Dan Snyder is no longer a part of this team.  Now they just need a new stadium.  But I don't really have a reason to hate them.
16. Las Vegas Raiders - Cool stadium, classic uni's.  I'm not a Raider hater.  Although, like the Cowboys, it's funny to see them lose.
17. Indianapolis Colts - They were featured on Parks and Rec, so that's cool.  The Colts may be the one NFL team I've never felt much emotion towards at all, so it's fitting that they're square in the middle.
18. Arizona Cardinals - What?  A division rival?  Yep.  I don't mind the red birds all that much, so long as we can at least split our season series with them.  
19. Chicago Bears - They may be the one NFL team that has never had a legit franchise quarterback in the Super Bowl era, it's crazy.  I wish them the best someday in finding that guy.  I don't mind the Bears too much, classic franchise and I find their games oddly entertaining, even when they are struggling.

I DON'T HAVE SYMPATHY FOR YOU WHEN YOU LOSE
20. Tennessee Titans - There's the Music City Miracle, at least, one of my favorite NFL plays of all time.  I watched that live as an almost 11-year-old.  But I just have never found a reason to like the Titans all that much.
21. New York Giants - Another one of my favorite YouTubers, FivePointsVids, is a Giants fan, but that's about it.  Their classic uni's are nice.
22. Denver Broncos - This team has probably moved the most in recent years, considering the Russell Wilson trade and all.  I'm coming back around on them, and they move back up for me.  In the earlier part of this century, I had them as a Top 5 team.  
23. New Orleans Saints - Part of me forgot about them, part of me just doesn't care.  I find them incredibly overrated as a franchise, considering they were nothing before the Payton/Brees era.  
24. Carolina Panthers - They beat my Seahawks in the playoffs once, so there's that.  But so have the Cowboys, Dolphins, Falcons, and Bears, all of who are higher on this list.  I just haven't forgiven them, I guess.

I ALMOST ALWAYS ROOT AGAINST YOU WHEN I WATCH
25. Philadelphia Eagles - Their fans are just awful.  I wish them nothing but misery.  I like Jason Kelce, but that's about it.  Die, Eagles, Die.
26. New York Jets - Again, not likable fans, and they're just incredibly boring and inept.  And I hate their color scheme--green and white?  Yuck.
27. Baltimore Ravens - They recently beat my Hawks, but moreover, they used to be the Browns, who were stolen from Cleveland and moved to Baltimore (Thanks, Art Modell).  And they've been rewarded with two Super Bowls.  It reminds me of how my Sonics were stolen from me.  
28. Green Bay Packers - A lot of defeats at the hands of these guys, but they've lost to us, too.  I just hate when we lose to them when, because of the refs or a bonehead play by our QB (Thanks Hasselbeck), we lose.  I almost always root against the Packers.  Their fans are a bit obnoxious, too.

DIE, CHUMPS (I seriously wish nothing but bad things for these teams)
29. Pittsburgh Steelers - Three words: Super Bowl 40 (XL).  Yeah.  Still not over it.  I know, it's been almost 18 years now.  I may never get over it.  Plus, like the Packers, their fans are obnoxious.  But the sting of the Super Bowl certainly hurts less now that we have a ring ourselves.
30. New England Patriots - Another team we lost to in the Super Bowl.  Plus, they had so much success with Brady and Belichick, it was sickening.  Their struggles right now are so incredibly hilarious.
31. San Francisco 49ers - Our biggest rival.  I can't stand their fans on social media--they are the absolute worst.  Reminds me of Astros fans.  Oddly, this is my girlfriend's favorite team, being from that area, which probably saves them from the final spot.  But I can never come around on them, especially now that they are a very tough team to beat.
32. Los Angeles Rams - Too many agonizing defeats to these guys.  The blowout at home which was our first big loss at home in years.  The phantom holding call on the first game in Sofi.  The loss in the playoffs in 2020.  And the two games this year.  Also, I hate Aaron Donald--he's a dirty player.  At least when the Niners struggle, we can beat them.  Even when the Rams struggle, we struggle to beat them ourselves.  Also, they're yet another franchise that has moved, so screw them.