I feel like this blog post is overdue. I
have been in a long-distance relationship for over 2 and ½ years. By now, I have become an expert on LDR’s and
I could give advice to anyone who is in one or might be entering one. In fact, I have been. I uploaded the video of Amanda and I meeting
to my YouTube account (http://youtu.be/xTnpFpZCiuA),
and it already has over 150,000 views.
Not only that, but I often get people commenting on that video asking
for advice, so I give it to them. But
now it is time I just put it out here, for anyone to refer to in the
future. How to deal with a Long Distance
Relationship (LDR).
Of course, there are two types of LDR’s. There’s the type where you meet online, and the type where you meet in person. I met my girlfriend online, so I’ll be mainly going over that. However, every time she leaves feels like I had met her and person and she’s moving away, so I can relate to people in that situation. The two types of LDR’s are equally challenging and require many things. They are:
- Time
- Money
- Patience
- Love for one another
- Belief
You have to put in a lot of time in LDR’s usually. When you’re away, your relationship consists of phone calls, webcam chats, letters, and texting. They become the person you communicate with the most, even if they are far away (Ain’t technology great?) You gotta put forth the time to keep in touch and show your love for one another.
LDR’s are expensive, which is why I put money on the list. Depending on far apart you are, you have to spend quite a bit to see each other, the money mainly going to airfare (or gas if you drive). Obviously, the further apart you are, the more you’ll spend. I’m lucky my girlfriend is only a short 2 hour plane ride away, otherwise it would be much harder. And there’s the missing work factor: You might lose money by having to miss work for a week to see one another.
Patience is key. It’s similar to time, but it is more the willingness to wait for one another. Can you wait that long for your loved one to move to you? Or can you wait that long to move to them? Also, being patient for each visit is crucial, because some visits can seem to be years away.
Love for one another is of course another essential. If you don’t love each other, it won’t work. Love is what powers your ability to wait, it makes you want to spend money on them, and it makes you want to talk to them on webcam or on the phone. You have to love them and appreciate the little time you have together in person.
Finally, you have to believe. You have to believe your relationship will work out and that you will one day live near them and have a much better relationship. You have to have faith and trust your loved one that they will be faithful to you and will do their part to bring themselves closer to you.
LDR’s are not easy. But I can say if your relationship can survive being long-distance, it can survive anything. The thing I hate most is when I go home or when my girlfriend goes home, it feels like we’re breaking up each time. I know we’re not at the time, but it feels that way.
If you have all five of the things I listed with your boy- or girlfriend, and you really want to be with them, then the LDR will work. There’s a saying (Popularized by the TV show How I Met Your Mother) that Long Distance Relationships never work. That’s not true. They just take a lot of effort, and a lot of couples don’t have that. If you are missing one of those five things I listed, it will be very tough to maintain an LDR and you might have to think about a split. But, if you have all five of those things, you have something special, and you should do whatever you can to make your relationship work so you can spend the rest of your life with that special someone.
Of course, there are two types of LDR’s. There’s the type where you meet online, and the type where you meet in person. I met my girlfriend online, so I’ll be mainly going over that. However, every time she leaves feels like I had met her and person and she’s moving away, so I can relate to people in that situation. The two types of LDR’s are equally challenging and require many things. They are:
- Time
- Money
- Patience
- Love for one another
- Belief
You have to put in a lot of time in LDR’s usually. When you’re away, your relationship consists of phone calls, webcam chats, letters, and texting. They become the person you communicate with the most, even if they are far away (Ain’t technology great?) You gotta put forth the time to keep in touch and show your love for one another.
LDR’s are expensive, which is why I put money on the list. Depending on far apart you are, you have to spend quite a bit to see each other, the money mainly going to airfare (or gas if you drive). Obviously, the further apart you are, the more you’ll spend. I’m lucky my girlfriend is only a short 2 hour plane ride away, otherwise it would be much harder. And there’s the missing work factor: You might lose money by having to miss work for a week to see one another.
Patience is key. It’s similar to time, but it is more the willingness to wait for one another. Can you wait that long for your loved one to move to you? Or can you wait that long to move to them? Also, being patient for each visit is crucial, because some visits can seem to be years away.
Love for one another is of course another essential. If you don’t love each other, it won’t work. Love is what powers your ability to wait, it makes you want to spend money on them, and it makes you want to talk to them on webcam or on the phone. You have to love them and appreciate the little time you have together in person.
Finally, you have to believe. You have to believe your relationship will work out and that you will one day live near them and have a much better relationship. You have to have faith and trust your loved one that they will be faithful to you and will do their part to bring themselves closer to you.
LDR’s are not easy. But I can say if your relationship can survive being long-distance, it can survive anything. The thing I hate most is when I go home or when my girlfriend goes home, it feels like we’re breaking up each time. I know we’re not at the time, but it feels that way.
If you have all five of the things I listed with your boy- or girlfriend, and you really want to be with them, then the LDR will work. There’s a saying (Popularized by the TV show How I Met Your Mother) that Long Distance Relationships never work. That’s not true. They just take a lot of effort, and a lot of couples don’t have that. If you are missing one of those five things I listed, it will be very tough to maintain an LDR and you might have to think about a split. But, if you have all five of those things, you have something special, and you should do whatever you can to make your relationship work so you can spend the rest of your life with that special someone.
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