NFL Teams Ranked--Again

 We're midway through the 2023 season, and it sure is an interesting one.  I thought I'd rank each of the 32 NFL teams in terms of my personal preference.  As a Seahawks fan, a lot of these rankings are self-explanatory, but most are not.  I'll try to keep it brief, especially if it's self-explanatory.

FAVORITE
1. Seattle Seahawks - Always my #1, always my ride or die.  

I LIKE THESE TEAMS (Not too surprisingly, all AFC teams)
2. Jacksonville Jaguars - Team I've adopted as my #2, or my favorite AFC team.  The Seahawks have no reason to hate them.  I like their new resurgence with Trevor Lawrence, and I really hope they accomplish some things.
3. Miami Dolphins - I'm high on them for three reasons: 1) My girlfriend's 1st cousin once removed is their kicker, Jason Sanders.  He's her dad's cousin.  2) Salvon Ahmed, one of their backup running backs, grew up in Kirkland, WA, just like me.  3) One of their safeties is Jevon Holland, who shares a last name with me, the only Big 4 sports professional athlete I know of who has that distinction.
4. Kansas City Chiefs - I can't help it, they're so easy to root for and fun to watch.  Mahomes, Kelce, Andy Reid, what's not to like?
5. Buffalo Bills - I love Josh Allen; he's one of my favorite NFL players.  The Bills remind me of my Seahawks in a way: loyal to a fault and will brave the elements.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU WHEN YOU WIN (Usually, unless you beat my Hawks)
6. Cincinnati Bengals - Joe Burrow is easy to root for, and finally Cincy has a consistent winner.
7. Minnesota Vikings - The Jon Bois/SB Nation documentary vaulted them up a bit, plus how big a fan Marshall on How I Met Your Mother is of them, and he's one of my favorite sitcom characters ever.
8. Cleveland Browns - I don't like how they got Watson, but I love lovable losers.  They still deserve to have success someday.  One of my favorite YouTubers, KTO, is a big Browns fan.
9. Detroit Lions - They are easy to like and their win over Green Bay last year enabled the Seahawks to get to the playoffs.  Thanks again, Detroit!
10. Atlanta Falcons - Again, the Jon Bois/SB Nation documentary.  Highly recommend.

NO BIG REASON TO DISLIKE, MAYBE A SMALL REASON TO LIKE
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I still think of those late 90s/early 2000s teams that just dominated on defense.  They were fun to watch.  They're still fairly likable.  Guess I just like Florida NFL teams. 
12. Los Angeles Chargers - Never really had a reason to dislike them, except for the fact that as of writing this post, the last time I saw a Seahawks game in person, they lost to the Chargers.  But I don't hold that against them too much.  We should have done more.
13. Dallas Cowboys - I know, I know.  I just find large market teams (Lakers, Yankees, Cowboys) appealing and fun to root for on occasion.  But it is also funny to see them lose, too.
14. Houston Texans - They would be higher, but they share a city with a certain MLB team I would rank 30 out of 30, so that drops them a bit.  I like their uniforms, stadium, but they haven't always made the best personnel decisions.

YOU'RE OK, SO LONG AS YOU DON'T BEAT MY HAWKS
15. Washington Commanders - First off, I wish they'd change their name again.  "Commanders" is so generic and uninspiring.  But I like how Dan Snyder is no longer a part of this team.  Now they just need a new stadium.  But I don't really have a reason to hate them.
16. Las Vegas Raiders - Cool stadium, classic uni's.  I'm not a Raider hater.  Although, like the Cowboys, it's funny to see them lose.
17. Indianapolis Colts - They were featured on Parks and Rec, so that's cool.  The Colts may be the one NFL team I've never felt much emotion towards at all, so it's fitting that they're square in the middle.
18. Arizona Cardinals - What?  A division rival?  Yep.  I don't mind the red birds all that much, so long as we can at least split our season series with them.  
19. Chicago Bears - They may be the one NFL team that has never had a legit franchise quarterback in the Super Bowl era, it's crazy.  I wish them the best someday in finding that guy.  I don't mind the Bears too much, classic franchise and I find their games oddly entertaining, even when they are struggling.

I DON'T HAVE SYMPATHY FOR YOU WHEN YOU LOSE
20. Tennessee Titans - There's the Music City Miracle, at least, one of my favorite NFL plays of all time.  I watched that live as an almost 11-year-old.  But I just have never found a reason to like the Titans all that much.
21. New York Giants - Another one of my favorite YouTubers, FivePointsVids, is a Giants fan, but that's about it.  Their classic uni's are nice.
22. Denver Broncos - This team has probably moved the most in recent years, considering the Russell Wilson trade and all.  I'm coming back around on them, and they move back up for me.  In the earlier part of this century, I had them as a Top 5 team.  
23. New Orleans Saints - Part of me forgot about them, part of me just doesn't care.  I find them incredibly overrated as a franchise, considering they were nothing before the Payton/Brees era.  
24. Carolina Panthers - They beat my Seahawks in the playoffs once, so there's that.  But so have the Cowboys, Dolphins, Falcons, and Bears, all of who are higher on this list.  I just haven't forgiven them, I guess.

I ALMOST ALWAYS ROOT AGAINST YOU WHEN I WATCH
25. Philadelphia Eagles - Their fans are just awful.  I wish them nothing but misery.  I like Jason Kelce, but that's about it.  Die, Eagles, Die.
26. New York Jets - Again, not likable fans, and they're just incredibly boring and inept.  And I hate their color scheme--green and white?  Yuck.
27. Baltimore Ravens - They recently beat my Hawks, but moreover, they used to be the Browns, who were stolen from Cleveland and moved to Baltimore (Thanks, Art Modell).  And they've been rewarded with two Super Bowls.  It reminds me of how my Sonics were stolen from me.  
28. Green Bay Packers - A lot of defeats at the hands of these guys, but they've lost to us, too.  I just hate when we lose to them when, because of the refs or a bonehead play by our QB (Thanks Hasselbeck), we lose.  I almost always root against the Packers.  Their fans are a bit obnoxious, too.

DIE, CHUMPS (I seriously wish nothing but bad things for these teams)
29. Pittsburgh Steelers - Three words: Super Bowl 40 (XL).  Yeah.  Still not over it.  I know, it's been almost 18 years now.  I may never get over it.  Plus, like the Packers, their fans are obnoxious.  But the sting of the Super Bowl certainly hurts less now that we have a ring ourselves.
30. New England Patriots - Another team we lost to in the Super Bowl.  Plus, they had so much success with Brady and Belichick, it was sickening.  Their struggles right now are so incredibly hilarious.
31. San Francisco 49ers - Our biggest rival.  I can't stand their fans on social media--they are the absolute worst.  Reminds me of Astros fans.  Oddly, this is my girlfriend's favorite team, being from that area, which probably saves them from the final spot.  But I can never come around on them, especially now that they are a very tough team to beat.
32. Los Angeles Rams - Too many agonizing defeats to these guys.  The blowout at home which was our first big loss at home in years.  The phantom holding call on the first game in Sofi.  The loss in the playoffs in 2020.  And the two games this year.  Also, I hate Aaron Donald--he's a dirty player.  At least when the Niners struggle, we can beat them.  Even when the Rams struggle, we struggle to beat them ourselves.  Also, they're yet another franchise that has moved, so screw them.

Rating New Era Survivor Twists and Changes

Something I still need to do, being a big fan of Survivor, is rating the new ERA twists and changes.  I'm gonna recall from memory each twist added or change made to the game since the start of 41, and then give it a rating out of 10.  A 10/10 is a perfect idea, and I honestly don't know if I'd give that to any twist in Survivor history, including the hidden immunity idol, so you won't be seeing that here.  A 0/10 would be an idea that is so asinine, whoever came up with it should be fired.  

There may be the occasional advantage that I have forgotten, but if I forget it, it's because it had such little impact on the game, and therefore isn't worth rating.

26 Day Format: 3/10
I don't think I'll ever fully come around on this.  Leave it to Survivor to stick with the 26-day format after COVID restrictions end since it's cheaper.  The bad thing about it is that it doesn't allow for close bonds to form or for people to struggle out there.  There's no time for the game to breathe, in a sense.  It feels like when Survivor reduced its quantity, it also reduced its quality.

No food/losing flint if immunity is lost: 5/10
I'm okay with teams suffering a penalty if they lose, although going to tribal council should be penalty enough.  But taking away flint doesn't have the impact it used to, since they are given access to clean drinking water, and the pre-merge lasts no more than 2 weeks.  Meanwhile, odds are each player will eventually get access to food via some sort of reward.  It seems like taking away flint is just for show, and honestly shouldn't even be mentioned anymore.  It's not an awful idea, just an unnecessary one that adds nothing to the show.

Hourglass Twist: 1/10
The hourglass twist is easily one of the dumbest things Survivor producers have implemented.  The worst part is that people who rightfully won immunity had it stripped away from them.  If anything, the hourglass twist should have made them replay the challenge, and see if we get the same result--although that wouldn't have made for as good of TV: seeing the same challenge done twice.  Maybe they could've used a different challenge.  But heaven forbid Survivor pay for another challenge set.  

Knowledge is Power: 5/10
This is an advantage that has yet to work, other than causing people to swap their idols and advantages.  That effect really made it confusing to track who had what.  It did create some good moments, such as Dwight going home with Jeanine's idol in 43 and her shock at finding out, even though the KiP wasn't shown on that season.  I wouldn't hate it if they brought it back, but I'd rather it be tweaked a little.  My suggestion is that if the owner of the KiP can correctly name who has an idol or advantage, you get an extra vote.  I don't think people's idols/advantages should be able to be stolen.  

Reunion not live/held right away: 2/10
I understand not being able to do it in the early stages of the new era due to COVID, but just like with 26 days, again Survivor sticks with it since it's a cost-cutting measure.  I really hate it because players are not given the chance to think about and digest their games.  I also love hearing the audience's reaction to the votes being read, and without it, the result always feels subdued.  It's like seeing the final out of the World Series but no one in the stands to cheer on.  Bring back the live reunion!  

Most idols being beware advantages: 6/10
I can live with this.  The reason I kind of like this is that it doesn't allow players to keep finding idols easily and playing them one after the other, like Ben in HHH.  It makes players work for it.  Idols were getting too easy to find, so adding steps to "activate" or find their idols made it more difficult.  I wish players didn't lose their votes until they fully found or activated their idol, but there's got to be some "punishment" to it, I guess.  I was not a fan of having to wait for a certain phrase to be said at the immunity challenge mat chat like we saw in 41 and 42.  I much prefer having to accomplish something, like getting beads in 43 or the cage twist in 44, and not having to rely upon someone from another tribe.  

Amulet(s): 4/10
Again, another idea that just falls flat.  We've seen this now in 42 and 45, and each time it just seems to put a target on people's backs.  I think if the showrunners try it a third time and the players are given the option, I think they'll choose not to have it.  I get that they're trying to create cross-tribal alliances, but all they're doing is making them targets for one another.  They should change it so that the combined amulets become more powerful so long as all owners are still in the game at certain points.  All three make it to the merge?  Extra vote.  Final 10?  Steal a vote.  Final 6?  Full-blown idol.  But they haven't really laid out who gets control of the advantage once it gets those points, so that'd be interesting to see...

Shot in the Dark: 7/10
The "SitD" as I call it, is one of the better new era ideas.  It creates drama when there likely is none.  Obvious boot?  Well, there's still the shot in the dark, which could save them!  It also adds a layer of strategy, because you have to decide if losing your vote is worth it.  For example, in 41, if Sydney hadn't played her shot in the dark and instead had voted, she likely survives.  I just can't rate it higher than 7/10, because, to me, it overcomplicates the game a bit.  With SitD's being transferrable and only able to be played once, I now have to keep track of who currently has their SitD?  There comes a point where there's just too much to keep track of.  

"Merge-atory": 4/10
Jeff says that you have to "earn the merge".  You know what, Jeff?  They earned the merge by getting that far in the game, you dick.  Fortunately, it's a lot better without the hourglass twist, but I'm still very against the idea of likely only 6/13 people being eligible to be voted for.  I also do not like when they add a layer of luck to the game, because some good players can get unlucky and have to leave the game, and a layer of luck is added when they randomly divide them into two teams.  

Split Tribal at Final 12 or 10: 2/10
Just... stop this.  Please.  I get having to have two people be voted out in one episode.  But instead of dividing them into two teams of 5 or 6, just have two tribal councils with all 10 or 12 people.  We've lost some decent players because of this awful twist, such as Matt in 44.  It adds another layer of luck that I am not a fan of.  And I think they've done this in seasons before 41 (Ghost Island, for one), but since it's been used every season since the start of the new era, I consider this a "New Era" twist.  

Three tribe format: 4/10
The worst part of this three-tribe format is that they never swap into two tribes.  I'm okay watching three-team immunity challenges, because there's usually some drama, either between 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd.  But only having 6 players per tribe is getting very tiresome.  There's not much room to maneuver as a player, and if you are put on a struggling tribe, you will likely not make the merge.  Also, if there is one tribe having a lot of success that never goes to tribal council, the whole tribe could end up getting purpled, like we saw with the Coco tribe in 41.  If we had a regular two-tribe format, we likely see J.D. in 41 at the merge.  But because his tribe struggled so much pre-merge, he was voted out.  

Do or Die: 1/10
I almost gave this a 0/10, because it was that bad.  What saves it is the fact you can opt out of the challenge, therefore not risking elimination via a game of chance.  I wish everyone had opted out of one of these, just to spite the showrunners.  Fortunately, each time the Do or Die did not work, saving Deshawn and Lindsay.  Thank goodness they stopped it after 42.  But much like with the hourglass twist, it breaks a Survivor cardinal sin.  This time, you can get eliminated from the game without a single vote against you.  You could be playing a perfect game, but because you wanted to compete in a challenge, you get eliminated from the game.  If it had eliminated someone, I wonder if Jeff was going to say, "The tribe has spoken".  Probably not.  

Choose Your Champion: 7/10
We've only seen this once, in 43, and unfortunately, we might not see it again.  Essentially, you choose who you think will win an immunity challenge, and if they do, you win immunity as well.  I wish the reveal was done sooner, rather than at tribal council.  I think people should know if they can vote for you or not.  But I guess it's like an idol, which a lot of people don't get to know about.  But I liked the element of how well people know their tribemates.  I think they should incorporate these for reward as well.

Average: 3.92/10
The twists and changes in the new era have largely been disappointing.  Survivor's at its best when its a slowly evolving game, and I felt like in the new era, they did too much too fast.  I like how bad ideas were phased out, such as the hourglass or "Do or Die".  I wish they'd go back to two tribes or 39 days, but we can't always get what we want, can we?  Anyway, that's all I have for now, but if there are any others, I'll add them to the list and give my thoughts.